Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best. – Robert Tew ///
Hi and happy Saturday! When I left you last, we were getting set for our appointment on June 3rd at 9a for the Sonohysterogram and Trial Transfer. I wasn’t planning to have Chris join, as they said, quite often spouses sit this appointment out. Something in me really wanted him there in the event I was in pain, or we were to receive unfortunate news. He so willingly obliged without a single question.
We saw a pretty neat event along the way…Police had traffic stopped along Coast Highway in Carlsbad, and there were dozens of people, motorcycles, and runners. i snapped the photos below. Turns out, it was the Law Enforcement Torch Run for Special Olympics of Southern California. They were running the torch from San Diego to Long Beach for the Summer Games which begin this weekend. This definitely brought some joy to my heart! However, traffic was horrendous driving south, and the parking garage was a complete nightmare. We were a few minutes late, standard for me (I know, I know), but with these appointments, I have never been a second late.
I must share that every staff member, nurse and doctor in our office is so kind and pleasant. It really makes this process, and each visit, a bit more bearable. There is a complete sense of comfort with our decision to use this practice. I could definitely get used to the type of positivity we have been feeling, and hope it is only a sign of greatness and happiness to come! Dr. F greeted us with excitement, which seems to be par for the course. I know she chose her profession, but to be that bright eyed and chipper when doing this for a living, well I’ll just say, good for her!
On to the procedures – These little procedures were to be quick and painless. Well, it was quick, but a bit uncomfortable, mostly in the beginning. I am glad I did not know the intense importance this appointment held, as then I would have been far more nervous than I already was. A full bladder was required, always fun! We started with the Trial Transfer. The purpose of this procedure is to literally map out the path and distance to my uterus. It is important they know the exact measurements and can determine proper placement, so come transfer day (sometime in November-ish), they know exactly where our tiny embryo will go. I am 8:30 to 9 for the measurements, whatever that means.
Then began the Sono. I will spare you the specifics, and leave it to Google if you so desire to find out for yourselves, but bottom line, we had to check to be sure there were no polyps in my uterus that would interfere with a pregnancy. Dr. F talked me through everything, but there was, what felt like, a great deal of silence. I chose not to look at the screen, and flipped through my phone just to distract me. I could hear her foot tapping the machine to take photographs, and a couple times I freaked thinking she had seen something.
Soon enough, we were complete. NO POLYPS!!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah for great news! There was one very tiny issue, but nothing that will prevent us from moving on with our IVF path. Dr. F assured me that come the real transfer time, I will be given a special little pill to relax me, so it should be less uncomfortable. When I heard that, I asked if there were any special pills I could take daily, or at the least when I have appointments, as I am a nervous wreck pretty much, ALL THE TIME!! The answer was no, but my fertility acupuncturist should help a great deal! More to come on that heaven later.
This is no joke – I texted Chris a couple hours after the appointment saying, “Today was good right? I feel off for some reason, like it wasn’t great. Tell me I’m wrong, right?” He responded, “You’re 100% wrong. Don’t tell yourself something over and over in your head and start to believe it. It went great.” What happens is I get so nervous during the appointments, can’t focus, and then replay it nonstop in my mind. I needed Chris to convince me that we did not receive bad news. I didn’t believe him. I think I am a bit scarred, if you will, from the always-constant bad news we had received up until now. My mind was completely going nuts. I thought that due to our doctor’s tone of voice, or her using the word “good” not “great,” that something was not right. CRAZY, I get it!
I kept on with this nonsense for the next couple days, and at Chris’ urging, finally emailed our IVF coordinator to triple check. She was out of the office last Friday, so I went through the weekend still playing with these thoughts. I heard back on Monday, and she said, “Everything seems fine 🙂 ” I hate the word fine. I feel there is this negative connotation to fine. If I ask someone how they are doing, and they respond with “Fine,” I know they aren’t. Anyway, get over it Kacey! Moving on…
Meds Update – Last Saturday I detected ovulation, the smiley face was a welcomed sign! I started Androderm Gel that morning. I apply the testosterone med to my shoulders each morning through a pre-filled syringe. I must wait until it is dry before getting fully dressed and can’t have the area exposed for a handful of hours. This may slightly interfere with my tan lines 😉 as I have to keep it covered in the sun. The side effects are quite random, including random bursts of energy, sleeplessness, and headaches, among others. The purpose of this med is to help the smaller ovarian follicles grow. NO clue, AT ALL, on the science behind this, but Prayers for growth please!! Last night I began Estrace. This estrogen med will act similar to birth control, and should prevent me from ovulating next cycle, as we want all my eggs to stay put! This is a simple two pills each night at bedtime. Side effects are upset stomach, nausea, bloating, headache, weight changes, etc. Prayers for no ovulation please!!
My simple medication cocktail for now, and yes I invested into a 90 year old style pill box.
- Fish oil (1, 1x a day)
- Total Fertility Preconception Formula & Complete Prenatal (3, 2x a day)
- Baby aspirin (1, 1x a day)
- Fibroplex (1, 2x a day)
- Estrace (2, 1x a day)
Speaking of cocktails, I am SO craving one! Tomorrow will be 7 weeks without alcohol AND caffeine…not even a sip…for BOTH of us!! I am so thankful that Chris is with me on this! It hasn’t been easy, but so completely worth it! Have one, or five, for me tonight. Cheers!!
Thank you a million times over for continued thoughts and prayers! We feel the love! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!! Xo