Worry is my middle name

IMG_6170Just call me Kacey Worry Roth. Don’t mind me….I am just sitting here, freaking out…yet again. Typical, typical. Hopefully the nerves and worry are all over nothing, but we shall see come tomorrow/Wed. July 1, at 8:30am, when we have our PEA (Post Estrace Appointment.) Like all visits, this one, seems to be a relatively huge deal. I was hoping each would get easier with time, but not the case. Blood work, Ultrasound, and lessons on giving injections… doesn’t seem all that bad, right?

The blood work will be checking my Estrogen and Progesterone levels, and the ultrasound will look at my ovarian follicles that we really, really hope are growing! The testosterone gel and patches I have been on are to assist the follicles growth. I have learned that “poor responders,” aka me, are put on this type of protocol. Meaning, that people with my diagnoses, often to not respond well to the “stimulation medication” and need a little extra boost.

My testosterone patch...and puppy

My testosterone patch…and puppy

Well one of the main reasons for these unwanted nerves is because throughout the day, I have had light cramping and symptoms that point toward the standard feelings I have when ovulating. I am hoping it is just my body doing its thing, but I don’t know. Being the neurotic person I am, I am convinced that I am ovulating, which we absolutely DO NOT WANT. The Estrace pills I have been on for the last couple weeks should prevent that from happening, as we need all eggs to stay in place. Our nurse, Dori, did share with me in the beginning that it is possible to ovulate, although medicated. So, I frantically emailed and called her. I know it is her job, but the poor thing has been so patient in dealing with me and my craziness. Needless to say, she of course didn’t have any answers, but said that the ultrasound and blood work will show us what is going on.

Throughout this infertility journey, I am always trying to be as positive as possible, but yet realistic at the same time. So come tomorrow, if it is determined that I have ovulated or if it is close to it happening, the cycle is then canceled. We would then have to start over. This would be beyond devastating on many levels. I am not going to let myself go there just yet, in the hopes my mind and body are playing tricks on me. With what I have experienced in the past 10 months, I now overthink and pay too much attention to each and every twinge, cramp, pain, or weird feeling in my body. I can’t help it.

Here is our fun Calendar of Events (click link for pdf):

6/6          Androderm gel for 3 weeks

6/12        Estrace for 3 weeks

6/27        Androderm patch for 5 days

7/1          Ultrasound, Blood work, Injection training

7/2          Menopur injection & Clomid 9 days, Dexamethasone 10 days

7/6          Begin daily appointments for ultrasounds and blood work

7/6          Ganirelix injection for 6 days

7/8          Omitrope injection for 5 days

7/11        Pregynl trigger & Follistim Boost injections, Indomethacin pill

7/13        Tentative Egg Retrieval

We will be turning in our consents to the clinic at our appointment. In reviewing these, Chris and I had to have some tough conversations surrounding treatment, medications, procedures, and the future. Many of you may be familiar with the situation Sofia Vergara and her ex are in 😉 OBVIOUSLY, Chris and I aren’t worried about that, but we did have decisions to make…some are shown in the below photo.



For all my prayer warriors, 8:30am PST – Please pray we receive good news with regards to blood work and ultrasound, NO ovulation, and positive follicle growth. Please also pray for overall health, patience, caring, and concern for ALL involved in this journey. Love to you all!

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best. – Robert Tew


2 thoughts on “Worry is my middle name

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