Happy Thursday! We are smooth and steady on this stimulation path, and one day closer to retrieval! Today was another good appointment, as we expected based on last.
Update on next steps relative to Dr. F — We had a follow up phone call with Dr. F yesterday afternoon to discuss next steps for this cycle and cycle #2. We all felt it would be best for us to complete this cycle and retrieval at RPMG with Dr. Garzo. She felt it would be extremely unfair for me to walk into a new clinic for the VERY first time on surgery day.
I will be seen by Dr. Garzo on Saturday for an ultrasound, blood work, pre-op, and then for our retrieval on Monday. Dr. F has expressed her intense confidence and trust in Dr. Garzo’s absolute professional ability to perform this procedure to the highest standards. As the hours go on, I am feeling quite comfortable with our decision to finish out this cycle at RPMG, then make a move to follow Dr. F for cycle #2. Contract, financials, etc. to be determined.
On to today — Stress central getting to RPMG, 2 minutes late…again. Dr. F walked in the exam room her head down, feeling terrible. It seems as if everyone is taking the shocking news of her leaving a bit rough. We assured her, there are no hard feelings. I know this has been beyond emotionally difficult on her. She is the light of that office. She doesn’t feel like a doctor, she feels like a friend, an advocate. I could go on and on about my respect and admiration for her, but I think you get it.
Lining – 4.6, which we do not worry or care about at this time.
Right ovary – 19mm, 17mm, 15mm, and a couple others. 5-6 total follicles
Left ovary – 15mm, 11mm and another. 3-ish total follicles. Not as “vigorous.”
We discussed our content in canceling the previous cycle, as we are in a much better position this time.
Dr. F – “This is looking really good! I am super excited. See I told you I knew it was going to be good!”
After the US, she confirmed that we are working with 8ish follicles. This could change tomorrow, again Saturday, and then again Monday. She feels comfortable with the number and growth thus far. We want the smaller ones to keep growing, and hopefully catch up to the already larger ones.
As for the smaller follicles, my acupuncturist will work on those tonight. I find it completely insane she can encourage them to grow with needles into my back.
Injections tonight will be #12 and 13 for this cycle. The last two nights, Bishop and Jessica, were able to witness this little 20-minute ordeal during their time at our house. Bishop actually took a video of the process. I watched it, and my gosh Kacey, calm down, SERIOUSLY. I may share it on here one day.
We were having a nice evening with Bishop at our house, until we got the dreaded call. As you can imagine, it was an awful, awful feeling, and I was completely disheveled following. Come Wednesday, I was totally exhausted, but I knew the best medicine would be having Jessica come to our house! Her visit was SO appreciated and exactly what I needed. Meg (my sis) FaceTimed from Chicago to check in on our night 🙂 Time with all of these gals was the perfect distraction I needed from real life as we know it.
Randomly yesterday, I was super apologetic to Chris. I felt bad for him, like really bad for him. He is always working so hard, and sudden guilt came over me, I am not sure why. It just feels like this whole process is ME ME ME. I have likely neglected this emotional needs through this to some extent. All of these appointments, combined with my constant worrying self, nonstop IVF business, injections, phone calls, COUNTLESS texts, and so on…I just felt that although I am the one physically going through this, he is just as emotionally vested as me. No, it is not his body. No, he doesn’t have the diagnosis. But this is about most definitely about US, our dreams, and our future. He demanded I stop apologizing and realize as much as I can, that this is a WE thing. I am not gushy, but must share…I am SO freaking lucky to have the husband I do. This process and journey isn’t for just anyone. We are stronger because of this unexpected and unwanted journey. I know he picked to sit next to me on the Southwest flight years ago for the most beautiful reasons!
As for how I am feeling:
- Overall SEVERELY bloated. I don’t necessarily look like it, but I FEEL it big time. My stomach just seems heavy if that makes sense. As of the other day, I had only gained a half a pound. Since then and for obvious reasons, I have yet to step back on the scale. Not happening.
- Constant pressure. It isn’t a crampy or painful feeling. It is just there, and VERY noticeable. Sitting, laying, everything feels different.
- My poor stomach has some bruising from the shots, not terrible, but since we are up to 3 a day, there are not many open spots.
- When I have to empty my bladder, I feel a LOT more discomfort than normal.
- I can’t sleep AT ALL. When I do finally fall asleep, it seems that it is the half-awake/half-asleep kinda thing.
- Adult acne/3 pimples decided to join my chin. They aren’t ugly, but they hurt.
- Emotionally, I feel like a champ. I haven’t had a meltdown or major freak out…yet! Of course when we got the call Tuesday evening, it shocked us, and we took it hard. Yesterday I was stressed, and bit teary, but I feel I have bounced back with as positive an attitude as possible.
I head back to RPMG tomorrow morning at 9:15a for my last ultrasound with Dr. F. This will be the first appointment Chris may not attend with me, as he has a work related meeting, ironically enough, with Dr. F’s husband. Being that we have had morning appointments 4 out of 5 working days this week, it has been hard on both of our schedules, so Dr. F assured us that tomorrow’s appointment will not reveal any crucial info, and Chris would be ok to skip this one. I will update after.
We SO appreciate the extremely nice calls, messages, and love. Our best to each of you! Xo
Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best. – Robert Tew