Written 3.18.16 – A little while back I asked my parents and Chris if they wanted to write a post for my jaunts&journeys blog. Chris thought I was kidding, but mom got to this assignment quickly! I thought it would be a nice change of pace and possibly interesting for you to read from a different perspective, other than mine.
You will see very personally into my parents own struggle starting a family, as well as my mom’s constant heartache for Chris and I. Because of her extremely painful journey to becomming a mom, I think she has a deep understanding of my feelings and emotions.
Growing up and to this day when discussing conception, children, and so on…I always say, “My parents tried for SEVEN years before they finally had me. Then they had 3 of us in 38 months.” Although Chris and I are nowhere near the seven years of trying, I just somehow KNEW in my gut that I would have similar issues with conceiving. I hope once we get things going we can achieve success multiple times like my parents.
I could write an absolute novel, but must just say…I cannot even begin to explain the incredible support, compassion, and never-ending love my mom has provided to me through this journey. I know I am nearing 33 (holy lord), but there have been many tough days and times when I just “want my mom.”
During the rough times and bad news, I notice myself almost trying to comfort and protect my mom. I know she wants to become Lulu more than anything in this world, and I often feel like a failure because I have yet to fulfill that dream for her. The day is coming, Mom! And my God, how lucky our future children are! I know they will love you just as much as I love Nana and Grammy, and I cannot wait for the day!
As written on March 18th, 2016 by my mom, Pam Kennedy:
It was a year ago give or take a few weeks…Rick was in recovery following his hip replacement surgery, and I was in the car going to get lunch when Kacey called from Dr. Friedman’s office. She asked how old I was when I started my period and when I began menopause, which was the early age of 37.
I had regular cycles; almost to the hour and cramps from the very first day not ending until my hysterectomy 14 years ago. I mean terrible “go to bed with the heating pad” cramps. Isn’t odd that when I lived in the dorm, we all had the same cycles and ended up all being bitchy and moody at the same time? The same thing happened when I worked at Special School District with six ladies in one office. One of the women, Lucinda, was from the South, and always said flowin’ is knowin’. It was either premenstrual week, the week of my cycle, or the week after my cycle, so Rick used to say I only had one good week a month.
I had been praying that Kacey and Chris would not have to go through the agony Rick and I endured trying to get pregnant, but that was not to be. I remembering sitting in the parking lot the day she called, crying and thinking, “Oh Lord she has my insides.”
Rick and I were married in June, 1976. I got pregnant around March 1977, but suffered a horrendous miscarriage while on spring break with my dad in Fort Lauderdale. I am seriously lucky I did not bleed to death. My sister was living there at the time and called a friend for the name of an OBGYN. So I called Dr. Pickle, and he prescribed Benadryl or some type of over-the-counter medication that he told me would help stop the bleeding, but I should have gone to the hospital.
I called my OB back home who told me to come in as soon as I got off the plane, which was 4 days later. I was told I did not need a D and C, but he also told me that I would NEVER get pregnant because I had endometriosis. Well he was partially correct about not getting pregnant, but totally wrong about endometriosis.
It took us seven long, long, long years to conceive. We found a great physician, Dr. Belew. Once we started with him, things really got rolling, and as it turned out both Rick and I had issues. Rick saw a doctor who took care of his situation, and I began the diagnostic testing. Dr. Belew found my progesterone levels were very low, and after a hysteroscopy discovered I did not have endometriosis.
We were given a calendar of events. There were yellow days, pink days, and green days of when we could/should attempt at conceiving. I was told not to get out of bed and some other tricks that could help with conception. My how times and technology have changed!
Well everything came together, and Kacey was conceived in Rhode Island after a Chicago Concert. How do I know? Yellow days, pink days, and green days! At last our dreams had come true. I was about eight weeks pregnant and began spotting. Dr. Belew told me not to panic and prescribed progesterone for the remainder of my pregnancy. I loved being pregnant! I felt great, and I could not wait to be a parent!
Side story – During pregnancy, I could not stand the smell of coffee, so I stopped every morning on my way to work at the Dairy Queen on South Florissant Road in Cool Valley to get a real Coke. One doctor’s visit, Dr. Belew asked how I was doing, and I said, “Great except for my daily Coke habit.” He looked at me and said, “What?!?!?!” I didn’t even think cocaine! I never missed a morning of my fountain Coke.
My water broke late evening on the 18th, and we went to the hospital. Kacey was born on April 19th, 1983 after an extremely long labor. I was given the awful Pitocin and suffered through back pain the entire labor. Finally, I was ready for the delivery room! After 3 pushes, Kathryn Celeste Kennedy was born. Alleluia!
It is just as hard watching all my friends become Grandmothers, Grammy’s, Gigi’s, and so on…as it was watching those same friends become pregnant when I couldn’t.
I continue to pray to St. Gerard and St. Jude daily and have started a novena a friend just gave me. I thank my dear friends for their prayers, flowers, candles, and encouraging words.
Thank goodness for the brilliant doctors, embryologists, scientists, and researchers who are able to help couples fulfill their desire to have a child. I truly don’t know that Rick and I could have gone through what Kacey and Chris have been through. They are amazing and remain so upbeat.
I cry big tears after every blog Kacey posts. Kacey has touched so many lives of people she has known since her grade school days at Mary Queen of Peace, high school at Nerinx, and college. So many people experience infertility issues, and I believe she has been an inspiration.
As I have said to Kacey over and over again…It is in God’s hands. May HE shine His Light on Kacey and Chris.
Thanks for sharing, Mom! Love you always!
Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best. – Robert Tew